Supply and Demand

I'll start this off with one declaration: Pussy is a commodity. You read that right. Just like copper, toilet paper, and that crazy corn that many a Mexican are protesting over. (The demand is high these days if you missed it.) Pussy comes and goes, and some women seem to think that they they have the pussy game on lock. They don't. Sorry ladies, but you're not the only store in town. As much as it cracks me up, I hate to break it to you.

I've noticed that women are much like the folks in the diamond industry in that respect. Their goal is to create an artificial demand for a product that is always in abundant supply. Before the airwaves were flooded with DeBeers commercials, and random bitches started talking about "what any man worth his salt" would buy, diamonds were around. The problem with this was that men didn't pay attention to that bullshit. Men were busy with more important things the entire time, as always. While women were busy worrying about pretty things that sparkled, we were doing things that WE deemed important. We were making fire. We were forging nations. We were establishing political and geographic boundaries--testing the limits of human endurance. You know, manly shit. We were still up to our old antics, hunting and trapping shit of course. But I digress. Women, on the other hand were caught up in pretty shit. We couldn't care less.

The problem is that hustlers responsible for the diamond trade knew this. They said to themselves, "Gentlemen, we have to come up with a way to make money outside of this whole subsistence thing. We have to change the game. We have to find some other shit. We have to find some shit that people don't know about, and line them up like fiends." (The drug game is a whole different story, but this was before that came about. A man had to have a hustle.)

Enter diamonds. Everyone has heard the story about time, pressure, and a lump of coal. I'll skip the geology lesson because there are far smarter people that can address that topic ad nauseum. Google it, motherfucker. What I'm talking about right now are diamonds, and their effect on the rest of the world. I mean, seriously who was the genius that actually sat down and put pen to paper on this one? How did the agenda read? I'll bet it went something like this:

I. Find a rock.

II. Pretend it's valuable.

III. Sell that motherfucker.

You have to admire the beauty of simplicity sometimes.

So back to my point. Diamonds. This has been a recurring theme recently, as many of my friends have recently been (or are being) married. One thing that immediately comes to mind is the womens' discussion of "the ring." There is talk about the four "C's" and a bunch of other bullshit that doesn't make sense, but that's another topic that someone else can blog to their hearts' content. It just won't be me.

Where was I? Oh that's right, supply and demand. The whole diamond craze was started by some dude that decided that they had to create this artificial supply for something that no one really cared about in the first place, so he had his work cut out for him. Then again, not really. All this man had to do was find a product that he could market to the masses, and build on that desire. The plan was simple. He could just convince women that they had to have said product, and men would line up in droves to buy it for them.

"But that's crazy," you say. "What on Earth would make men do such a thing?"

In a word, pussy. As badly as women love to inspire envy in other women, men want women. Problem solved. This is where the econ lesson comes into play. Men are convinced that women are in scarce supply. Some would argue only the "good" ones are scarce, but that's a story unto itself. Believing that women are in scarce supply, men go to great lengths to get them. The only problem with this airtight logic is that they aren't. You can't walk down a city street without seeing women on a daily basis. They're not spotted owls or bald eagles, they're everywhere. The problem with men is that we're stubborn, and you can't really convince us of anything contrary to our beliefs unless you have proof--or it airs on SportsCenter.

So given this rationale, it's not hard to see why men are perpetually on a quest for women. There's not a day that goes by that the average man isn't thinking about women. We think they're special. They also get naked from time to time. This brings us back to the pussy. Men are logical beings. Every thought pattern follows a natural progression. It may not be readily apparent at the time, but it's there. This is why men think pussy is scarce. Allow me to illustrate.

Men already believe that women are scarce, as evidenced by their behavior. They are protective. Sometimes jealous. They don't want anyone near their women that they feel they can't trust. Family included. They do this because they think that women are these illusive beings that only come around every once in a while, much like lottery winnings or all green lights on the way to work.

This belief that women are scarce also means that pussy is scarce. The problem is that it isn't. The "market" has been flooded with pussy for longer than most people realize. I mean seriously, what do we call "the world's oldest profession?" Prostitution. Women were out selling pussy on corners long before anyone ever even heard the name "WaWa" or "7-11." Not to mention the fact that most women will give it away for a variety of reasons. Anything from broad shoulders, strong hands, a nice smile, or a dead pet can get a man pussy. He just has to be in the right place at the right time. There's also all the secondary markets for pussy. Countless sexual encounters have occurred based solely upon whatever crisis a woman encountered at the time.

A woman breaks up with her boyfriend? More pussy. Daddy was drunk and missed one too many recitals while his daughter grew up? More pussy. A woman feeling self-conscious because she put on a few pounds? More pussy. The list is endless.

This all leads to the conclusion that pussy, while not worthless, is extremely overvalued as a commodity.

Think about it.